Well this week I had my first mammogram since this whole thing started. My radiologist gave me a script to have a diagnostic mammogram done this month and I went early one morning before work. It felt so strange to fill out the paperwork and check off the box and write breast c-a-n-c-e-r on the information. I think this was the first time I had to include that word and put it in writing under my medical history. There was no denying it and it literally stopped me in my tracks for a moment. This is real. This is part of MY history now. It was a weird feeling I didn’t like.
Back to the mammo. It cracks me up that they always tell you not to wear any powders or deodorant. In my opinion it is one of those things you have done where you definitely need the deodorant! After it was done I was told to sit and wait to get changed until a radiologist looked at my films in case they wanted to take more pictures.
In the meantime I could hear others getting their mammogram done and when they were finished the technician would tell them they could leave and would get the results in the mail in a few days. It was the waiting game. The longer I sat, the more I envisioned the technician returning only to tell me they wanted to take more pictures because they saw something. It was probably the longest 15 – 20 minutes I remember in a while. It is hard to wait. Finally she poked her head back in and told me to get dressed and that I could leave. Whew!
I have not heard anything back from my doctor yet…so I’m still waiting… but I’m believing that it will be a good report. I’m not going to sit around worrying in the meantime. I have learned to trust God no matter what the circumstances. He has been with me every step of the way and will be with me regardless of what the future holds.
There’s many things that we have to wait for during our lifetime. Think of the amount of time you spend just waiting in lines whether it’s at the bank, at a store, a gas station, on hold on the telephone, for something to download, for clothes or paint or nails to dry, for food to cook, for something to come in the mail, for someone to get out of the bathroom, for a party, for a check, for someone to take your order, for someone to get back to you with an answer or for news, for someone to ask you out, for the next train or bus or plane, sitting in doctor’s offices, for an event or ceremony to start, for water to boil, sitting in traffic, waiting for something to cool off, for summer to come back, for a vacation, to get over an illness, or for a cure, etc. Supposedly the average person spends an average of 45-62 minutes a day waiting, or by the time you are 70 years old you will have spent 3 years of it waiting.
Some waiting is minutes, some is days, some is weeks, some is months, and some is years. It all depends what we are waiting for. My question is what are we doing while we wait? Think about how much of your lifetime is spent in a waiting or even in a holding pattern of sorts…possibly even unable to go forward until the waiting is over. Often we don’t know how long the wait will be. I try to be as productive as possible if the wait is anticipated. I will often bring something to read with me or if it’s longer, a task I need to accomplish. When my kids had lessons of some sort I would bring coupons to clip and file or homework to work on or I would run an errand while I was out. When it comes to longer term waiting I still try to focus and keep going in the direction I would like to be once the waiting is over.
I think this waiting principle applies to the most important thing I’m waiting for. Jesus told us that He is coming back one day. Many have predicted to the day when this would be but obviously they were wrong. Matthew 24:36 says, “But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven’s angels, not even the Son. Only the Father knows.” (Message) No one knows how long this wait will be but I want to be ready. “So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him,” Matthew 2:44. I won’t sit and do nothing while I am waiting for that day. I am determined more then ever since having cancer to live my life to the fullest for the Lord. I don’t want to waste time while I wait for His return. Isaiah 25:9 says, “They will say on that day, ‘Look! This is our God, for whom we have waited—and he has saved us! This is the Lord, for whom we have waited; let’s be glad and rejoice in his salvation!'”
It is interesting to see that in Psalm 37:4 where we are told to WAIT for the Lord, depending on the translation used, it says to HOPE in the Lord. These are synonymous. The way to do our waiting is by putting our hope in Him and trusting Him during our time of waiting! We are told to “follow him,” “keep his way,” “rely on the Lord, keep his commands,” “wait for the Lord’s help and follow him” in various translations of this verse.
My question is, “What are you doing while you wait?”